I have been struggling with my weight for a few years now. At my highest weight, I was almost 300lbs. This was following a long bout of depression; I existed but I did not live. I ate, worked, ate, came home, ate ate ate and went to sleep for about 12 hours. I was unhealthy both in mind and body. Please let me clarify that I am not claiming that I was physically unhealthy because I was overweight lest I rankle anyone who believes, like myself, in beauty at any size. I was unhealthy because I was not fit. I could barely walk up a flight of steps without dying and I was in a constant state of discomfort.
I made a commitment to change and I did. I lost a tremendous amount of weight through diet and exercise but funny how the old demon rears it's head and I found myself in a state of high anxiety in the start of the year that consumed me. I just couldn't let this happen again and through sheer force of will and with the help of my best friend, Sarah, I was able to pull myself out of it. During my downtime, I gained about twenty five pounds and am going to recommit myself to getting back into shape.
I guess I am putting this out here as an incentive for me to keep on track. I thought it was interesting to see the progression from when I was at my highest weight to my lowest to where I am now. So, thanks everyone for listening.
*******
~click on picture to expand
At my heaviest - size 30/32. It was when I could no longer fit into Lane Bryant's biggest size that I realized that something had to change.
working on it... feeling good and back into a 26/28
working... Still working that LB but this time, sporting a 20/22
At my thinnest with a size hovering between 14 and 16. Later for you LB.
some weight creeped up on me... size 18/20. 
me today. What's next?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
From Then to Then and Now
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
36 comments:
Thank you for posting this.
Now...I think I really love you...
because you inspire me...
Like I really don't know what else to say... And can I say you were/are gorgeous!
I wish you all the best - find YOUR shape and fitness level. I am a 24-26 for a couple of years. I rose in a pretty short time from a 14 and it is super frustratin in comparison. I miss my sports, but I am not at the point at the moment, that I could make it and start with dieting, work out etc. But all of you gorgeous persons, who show how it is, give me hope and a bit of strength to change something. I like the 16-18 pictures the most - but these are the pics I think. I am not a fan of skinny looking gals, but I think a good shape with muscles and definitions has it´s weight limits.
I heart you J!
I am so excited that you are back blogging.
You have really inspired me today!
Jude you are beautiful at every size! Thank you for sharing this with us. I would not be so brave. I struggle everyday and I'm losing the battle :( I hope your story inspires me to change!
I wish you the best of luck in your journey to create a wonderful and healthy lifestyle! I really admire you for putting yourself out there and sharing your story with us. I could totally relate as I am currently battling issues with my weight along with anxiety and depression. This blog has truly inspired me! just like your wonderful makeup tutorials.
Anyway, good luck again and please know that you are gorgeous no matter what size you are!
I feel you. Last year I wasn't working and lost about 15 lbs and was down to about 145 - which to me is still large, I'm only 5'2. But then in this past year I got back up to 160 when I started working and lost the motivation to exercise after working a long day. But a FABU website I used to help track my progress was Sparkpeople.com. It's super helpful in tracking your food and really makes you think twice about eating that cake cause it will tell you that you can eat it but then you need to do x amount of exercise and then you think, "Is it really worth it?" LOL
You look great though!
wow this post was really inspirational... i also eat when i am stressed out or depressed, and i have been having a lot of trouble losing weight lately. i kinda want to expand my blog into weight-loss methods as well, i would love to read about yours!
You are beautiful inside and out, most stereotypical comment ever but it is so true for you! I noticed that even in your 'biggest' picture you never have a fat FACE! I weigh like 130 and I have more chins than you had at your largest! haha Im jealous, any time I gain an ounce it goes to my chin
I won't bog down your comments box with a big long life-story (cos believe me I've got one!) but I just wanted to say that you are inspiring, beautiful (at all your sizes) and obviously smart (a comment I don't bestow lightly). Thank you for posting what is definitely not something that's easy to talk about. I am planning on documenting my changes in my own blog and I'm quite a bit nervous (I'll be having bariatric surgery around November) and it's comforting knowing that I'm not the only gorgeous chick out there that struggles with her weight.
you've inspired me as well :)
You are so beautiful. I am happy that you are doing this for you. That is most important. I went to a herbalist in Manhattan and he helped me lose 25 pounds, and it is still comming off. If you want his information message me at youtube: fabelmoie. But no matter your weight you are still kicking butt and taking names.
Tam
my thinnest was also a 12/14 in between there and i was 200lbs and at that weight i felt my best, people didnt believe it but it is true. now here i am. an 18 again, dont get me wrong. i am so vain. but my health is not right and i am stuck. i need a push, or i need to find a way to push myself. you will get back on track, know that.
You are AMAZING! Congratulations! I used to be the same...my highest weight was 296 (I'm 5'7") and I was a size 22. I'm still not thin but I am in better shape...down to a size 18! :)
You're even more inspirational that ever now!
i have to say THANK U for this, i've been dealing w/weight issue most of my life, i'm now the biggest i've ever been, size 16,@ 5ft 4in thats not healthy or comfortable. I'm trying but its hard, really hard, and its always good to know ur arent alone in it. and coming from you, who i admire because of ur talent its especially nice to hear. once again thank u, and good luck on your journey!
Thank you for writing this. I am currently in this situation and have been for at least 3 years. Slowly but surely I'm pulling out of this depression and starting living my life again. I feel inspired. You are gorgeous at any size.
You're beautiful now and you were beautiful then.
Thank you for sharing this. I've had my share of ups and downs.Went through a dramatic down 2 years back and now going up again. So, I'm trying to get it down again. Lol!
most important is that you're healthy and happy :)
you are so pretty and so smart (look at your vocabulary) that your weight should not be an issue. However, I believe that If 'change' makes a person feel better then his/her decisions should be respected and i mean this in every aspect of life for every situation.
oh jude...I can so relate. The freshman 15 turned out to be the freshman 30 and I've ''faithfully" maintained 200-210 lbs every since. I'm 5ft6. I have basically been taking it in stride trying to be healthy and stay positive. I so understand your struggles and wish you all the best.
Jude you look lovely no matter what your size is! Just make sure you feel healthy and fit, and that's all that matters.
To me, I think clinging to my little bit of extra baggage is worth being able to eat that lil bit of ice cream and not feel like I have to beat myself up :P
I love your makeup posts, being a girl that has NO IDEA how to use it. You keep doing your thing and staying happy :)
I appreciate you posting this.. I have a similar story, being obese and then loosing it all. It's hard to keep it off, and currently I'm in a weight gain swing... I've got to stop.
I think you've just motivated me!
I appreciate you posting this. It means more than you will know. Its a hard subject to talk about most of the time. I am also at that point where LB won't fit anymore so I have to do something. Thanks for your inspiration.
I loved this post just like everyone else. I am in awe of your makeup skills and your bravery.
It's not easy putting your struggles out there for everyone to see and comment on, but I thank you for doing it.
Jude, you are truly an inspiration. I lost 30 pounds over six months and it was not easy, because I had to do it alone, through God and sheer willpower. I know you can do it. It took me years, before the light turned on and many different diets. Once I realized that it has to be a lifestyle and not a diet, the light clicked on. Make it work for you and don't deprive yourself, just make low fat versions of what you love. Stick with it, and remember if you mess up, don't beat yourself up, just make a better choice at your next meal. As long as you keep trying you will be guaranteed to be successful and we will all be routing for you!
Jude! You are such an inspiration! I know it was probably difficult for you to begin with to post this, but I have a favor to ask... Would you possibly consider making a post on how you lost the weight? I'm struggling and I have no clue what to do... maybe talk about eating habits and excersize and how your body changed (if you're comfortable)... Either way, thank you for being brave! :)
You are gorgeous no matter what you weigh, but it's not so much about being gorgeous, as you've said.
You are a hero for having done it to start with and you will do it again. Just keep fighting the good fight.
Weight is the hardest addiction and it is for life. But it can totally be done.
Hugs
Just adding myself to the many voices who can SO relate. You and I share the same high and low weights/sizes, actually. I also came close to sizing out of Lane Bryant, and then I lost a lot of weight in a year (diet & a really grueling outdoor job) and was a 12/14. Then I regained a good 30lbs once I got my last (office) job and have been yo-yoing 25lbs up and down ever since. When I was laid off I gained more than I had in years, and am just now starting to slowly work it off. I don't lose it quickly anymore, that's for sure. I consider it a blessing that it never ALL came back, but I'm going to have my work cut out for me. Anyway, your photos are gorgeous - all of them. I love your attitude about beauty and health at any size; I think that's what is needed to take care of ourselves. Shine on!
Jude, you will always be a huge inspiration to me. (You might recognize NotteRequiem, that's my non-makeup username on things)
I completely know how you feel about loving beauty at any size. I've struggled with my weight my whole life, and I'm starting to do something about it for myself, because I want to be able to walk two flights of stairs without wheezing and feeling like I was going to die...
You are beautiful, and you have no idea how much of an inspiration you are to those around you.
Rock on, girly. <3
Thank you for sharing this with us Jude. Can you tell us how you lost the weight? What sort of plan did you follow?
I hope you know that you are gorgeous and that beauty comes from the inside.
Thank you for sharing. It's very inspirational. I personally love the pic you shared when you were around 18/20. Gorgeous.
this is amazing that you are willing to put this out there. it really is inspirational. i myself float between a 16 and 18 currently . i am in the middle of a stressful year that will probably only get worse and i have found myself falling into my own very unhealthy habits. seeing someone like you who is not only strong enough to pull through it but tell millions of strangers about it is amazing. i may not have a sarah in my life but i feel like i can use you and your blog as a pillar of strength and inspiration
I just want to commend you on your courage to post this. You were gorgeous even at your heaviest, but you looked so unhappy. I struggle with my weight and I know how hard it is to lose weight and have it sneak back up. Good for you, Jude. You look great.
I don't comment much but I absolutely love your blog. I think you are such a beautiful and caring woman. I wish you all in the best in the search for your "healthy" self. :)
Thank you for sharing this!
Like so many of us, I also struggle with my weight, and it's always inspiring to hear someone else's journey.
Thank you, again!
ok, thanks so much for sharing something so personal. u were still a DIME @ ur heaviest. But I know how impt it is to feel good on the inside too. WOW! u rock! I'm truly inspired. I guess I'll have to remove the clothes from my treadmill now. LOL thanks again for sharing. :O)
Post a Comment