“Daddy issues”, also called as Electra Complex, is a psychological term coined by Carl Jung. It is a psychological condition, according to Jung, characterized by a female exhibiting a desire to connect more, even to sexual extent with the parent of the opposite sex and a desire to remove the parent of the same sex; i.e. sexual attachment towards her father and at the same time, hostility towards her mother.

There is a lot of debate about the concept in modern times but the term still applies to women who had no father growing up, lacked adequate attention from a father figure or simply had a terrible or worse, an abusive dad. Such women (in theory) tend to fill the void by seeking more approval from the male counterparts. This might come in form of fantasizing, dating or having romantic and sexual relations with older men or on the contrary end up in relationship with abusive partners.

Does this sound familiar? Are you such a person who is trying to leave these complexes behind and start afresh? Read on for dealing with daddy issues and tackling them.

Sexual Aggressiveness

Many guys will drool at the idea of a sexually aggressive woman – and the ‘aggressive’ girls of the James Bond franchise have only fueled the desires. Being bold and picking up a guy at the bar is fine. But if you are luring/enticing him in on the dance floor, grinding against him so much that he can smell your pheromones and then drag him by his belt to your room for the next level of aggressive action, then, you may have daddy issues. If you are out in the night looking for ‘no strings attached’ fun (which isn’t a really good thing in the first place) or a ‘one night stand’, it is fine.

But if you foresee a relation with this guy, you really need a change in strategy because the moment you lock the doors, you have set the mood for this encounter and the guy will not look further than pleasures. You might want to adapt an approach wherein you entice him with your other subtle charms and then keep this “special” one for later use to please and surprise him.

Excessive Flirting

Another type of girl that men grin from ear to ear at the sight of is a girl who knows her thing in the flirting department. Flirting is good to the point that you catch the fish you want but continuing it even when you have one in the bag is not cool. Women get their panties in a knot even at the sight of ‘their man’ looking at other women; so why shouldn’t they be upset with your flirting with other strange men.

Excessive flirting, at times, may be due to underlying craving for more attention and/or validation. You need to realize that you don’t need that guy at the end of the bar to eye you to make you feel beautiful; know that you are beautiful. Focus on pleasing yourself if you have such desires. Go get yourself a manicure, pedicure, a facial even; go for quiet walks along the beach and if they don’t cheer you up, do what women are best at doing – go shopping.

Clinginess

Yes, a girl wants assurance, care and at times (sometimes more than often) pampering from her husband or boyfriend. Those are the things that every girl needs; although a girl with daddy issues yearns for these things in excess, extreme excess. A girl with daddy issues may throw a fit/tantrum whenever her partner makes plans without her, doesn’t call her daily (sometimes more than once a day) and she needs to know everything about him – where he is, what he is doing, who is he with – simply everything. At times, the girl may have extreme desire to be with him 24x7 or in worst case scenario, have him under covers for ‘significant’ amount of time.

Such behavior stems from the fact that this kind of girl with daddy issues wants or needs complete control and wants to latch on to love due to her fear of losing it. Agreed that you don’t want to be lonely or hurt but the essence of the relation lies in the fact that you should trust your guy and especially believe that he means what he says. In case he turns out to be a liar, understand that he was never the man for you. To deal with such urge to cling, the very first thing you need to do is to get a life. You need to maintain a different social circle not only since it will lessen your clinginess, but also because it will give him a breather and help in your relationship. Also, finding a new hobby or getting in touch with an old one can help.

Constant Comparing

Let’s get back to Jung’s theory for a while. Even if you buy into it or not, one thing is certain that a father is the very first male relation that a girl has and hence, how that relation works out affects her relations with other male forms, especially her romantic relationships. If you have daddy issues, you may, consciously or unconsciously end up comparing your boyfriend/husband with your dad, for better or for worse. If you had a terrible dad, you may end up growing, expecting the worst from men. On the other hand, if you fantasized your father, you may end up comparing the qualities, especially the lack of them, in your partner.

Girl, you need to realize that no two humans, let alone men, are equal. If your father and the first guy you dated were jerks, don’t let it saturate in your mind that all men are jerks and put them in the same box as your father and the first guy. If you still keep ending up with such kind of people, you seriously need to rethink your selection process. Ask around, many of your friends may know guys who are genuinely good and compatible with you.

Coming down to a more general note, maybe Jung was right or maybe he wasn’t entirely right. Knowing that you or someone has daddy issues is a more lengthy process than these parameters. But daddy issues or no daddy issues, if you exhibit such qualities, you need to take notice and reinvent yourself or your processes so that you can be in more harmony with the opposite sex.